Welcome to The Beauty of Imperfection Blog!
“We are all wonderful, beautiful wrecks. That’s what connects us–that we’re all broken, all beautifully imperfect.”
― Emilio Estevez
“I believe that the measure of my soul is my capacity to love imperfect people.”
― Joseph Grenny
WHO WE SERVE AND WHY
Are you a family or professional caregiver who is looking for emotional support, practical strategies/resources, encouragement and inspiration so you can be the best caregiver you can possibly be for those you serve on a daily basis?
OR . . .
Are you (or another caregiver you may know) at a breaking point physically, mentally or spiritually? If you answered “yes” to either of the questions above, you’ve come to the right place.
Caregivers of all kinds are welcome here!
This blog is for you if you . . .
- Are a family caregiver who cares for your loved one(s) in your own home or the home of your care recipient(s)
- Care for multiple persons at a medical facility
- Serve people daily in a one-on-one environment via an alternative health/natural healing profession
We welcome you ALL with open arms!
Perhaps you specialize in working professionally with people who are in physical or mental pain. These specialties can include (but are not limited to):
- Massage therapists
- Physical Therapists
- Occupational Therapists
- Speech Therapists
- Reflexologists
- Acupuncturists
- Chiropractors
- Energy workers
- Mental health counselors
Regardless of your background, qualifications, education, or level of experience, you are in the right place!
Here at The Beauty of Imperfection (TBI) community, we care about your health and well being as a person whose services are in great demand. It is a sad fact that many family caregivers tend to put others first and over time begin neglect their own self care, which can lead to burnout and/or total breakdown.
And that is what we are here (in part) to prevent.
https://remedygrove.com/wellness/PREVENT-BURNOUT-TIPS-FOR-CAREGIVER-SELF-CARE
Many caregivers suffer in silence and do not receive the attention or help they so desperately need. Many also lack resources, whether financial or in practical ways such as finding respite care services in their local area.
These unselfish souls-who are often unpaid or greatly underpaid-get up every day and work diligently behind the scenes in homes, medical facilities or one-on-one with people in need to help others who cannot care for themselves function and live better quality lives than they otherwise would.
These special people are the natural “healers” and unsung heroes among us.
OUR PURPOSE
The primary purpose of this blog is to serve as a public voice and to advocate for millions of full-time caregivers around the world, 24/7. These dedicated souls faithfully serve those who live with chronic diseases/conditions, mental illness or physical injuries who cannot care for themselves.
Care recipients may include minor children, spouses, elderly parents or others for whom special care is needed due to sudden illness or injury.
We believe this statistically growing group of people deserve to be supported and celebrated for their sacrificial work on behalf of those whom many in society would rather not acknowledge, much less support.
We also believe that the value and stability that caregivers bring to a family, a state or a country extends far beyond mere monetary considerations because without them, the
healthcare systems in most countries would quickly crumble.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/nearly-40-percent-of-us-adults-act-as-caregivers-for-loved-one/
Authentic care givers value human life in every form and are committed to meeting the needs of those around them, despite the hardships they may bravely face daily in order to do so.
Unfortunately, many caregivers feel “invisible” to the rest of the world, despite the Herculean accomplishments they are expected to achieve on a daily basis on behalf of those for whom they provide care.
Viral headlines are quick to publicize stories of providers who abuse those in their care.
But where are the accolades for those who pour their heart and soul into their work and are rarely acknowledged for their excellent service to humanity?
When their efforts are taken for granted, caregivers can begin to feel more and more despondent.
As a result, over time many consciously (or unconsciously) begin to ignore their own needs and health issues, and they begin to ask themselves serious questions like:
“Does anyone really care who I am as a person?”
“Does my life matter to others beyond my role as a caregiver?”
Negative self talk can quickly follow.
“I work hard to ensure my loved one is as healthy as possible, and gets to scheduled medical appointments on time. I also juggle multiple caregiving tasks daily, but sometimes I feel that no one knows or cares what it takes day after day to make that possible. I doubt most people even give it a second thought.”
These feelings can be compounded exponentially if the person(s) being cared for are emotionally abusive, angry, bitter or controlling toward their care provider.
In many cases, this happens because the injured or ill person is simply mentally unable to cope with the loss of ability to care for themselves as they once did.
In cases like this, the caregiver is the most convenient person that the care recipient can dump their emotional baggage on, which can lead to the care provider feeling more resentful, isolated, taken for granted or abused.
Over time, this kind of treatment can wear a caregiver down on every level.
This constant sense of “flying just under the radar” or not being acknowledged
by others as a valuable person on their own merits, while often carrying heavy burdens of responsibility, doesn’t help matters at all.
At times, caregivers can begin to believe that no one else could possibly understand their personal situation, much less spend the time necessary to be a sounding board or offer tangible support.
Tangible support could include anything from a few hours to an entire a day off, running errands, cooking meals or cleaning so that caregivers can have scheduled breaks to look forward to on a regular basis.
The need for regular respite time is HUGE for most caregivers.
And yet in many local areas, respite resources are almost non-existent, especially outside the boundaries of major metropolitan cities. This is a travesty that needs to be addressed by every local community and state.
At this stage, it is easy for caregivers to feel as if they are the only survivor of a horrible plane crash that landed on a deserted island.
For this reason, many care providers suffer in silence or worse – fall into a mindset of martyrdom. I know I did.
This is why every caregiver needs a supportive community to come alongside them and encourage them on a regular basis. It helps to realize that one is not ALONE!
AN OASIS IN THE DESERT
Our ultimate goal on this blog is to provide a safe and open environment for caregivers to find inspiration, strength, resources and support. Think of it as a life raft thrown to a person who has been thrown overboard from a boat to keep them from drowning.
That’s how many caregivers feel when the sudden injury or illness of a loved one thrusts them into the role of providing full time care without warning or preparation of any kind.
When that happens, what they need most from those around them is emotional and practical support.
THE GENERAL PUBLIC NEEDS TO BE EDUCATED ABOUT CAREGIVING
The secondary purpose of this blog is to educate the general public who are often blissfully unaware of the special life skills, medical training/knowledge and tenacity that being a good caregiver requires of a person.
According to researchers who study trends in the aging population demographic alone, the need for caregiving for the elderly is only going to increase in the coming decades as Baby Boomers enter their 70’s, 80’s, 90’s or above.
More people are living longer than ever before. Thus, there exists the need for more quality caregivers to step forward and serve.
http://aginginstride.enewsworks.com/en/10046/articles/2413/Five-Trends-in-Family-Caregiving.htm
Who will care for the Baby Boomers? How will the younger generations of today ever be equipped to take care of their elders properly if they never spend time with or gain a well rounded understanding of the needs of the older or disabled population?
Too often, those who need quality care are ignored by the public, which is another thing that needs to change if we are to survive as a species in future decades.
More advocates for caregiving are needed now to speak to local, state and national government officials who need to be educated about the fact that the current value of services provided by unpaid family caregivers is estimated at $470 billion annually.
This value is highly likely to increase as the demand for quality caregivers increases over time.
Here’s a typical example of what is meant by “education” of the general public:
Imagine that you are in the grocery store and you see a person in a wheelchair there with a caregiver accompanying them. What is your first impression?
The average person who has never been a caregiver may not even stop to realize that it took several hours of behind the scenes work for that attendant to get the disabled person bathed, groomed, dressed and ready to face the day.
This assessment is quite often is based on snap judgements regarding the care recipient’s perceived “social acceptability” by the general public. Meanwhile, it is assumed that the attendant is merely an appendage of the care recipient, rather than a separate person.
Many people tend to avoid eye contact and conversation in public with injured or ill people and their caregivers because they don’t know what to say, or they feel awkward.
The end result is that they ignore both the care recipient and the caregiver, thereby increasing that sense of “invisibility” and isolation.
A simple gesture, word of encouragement or a smile can go a long way toward making a caregiver’s busy day.
Would that more able bodied citizens could find the courage to not only acknowledge, but offer words of support for caregivers and the silent sacrifices they make on a daily basis!
In addition, the common daily personal care routines mentioned above are what most able bodied people take for granted.
But when a caregiver personally assists an ill or disabled child, a spouse, an elderly parent or a friend who cannot perform these routines for themselves, it becomes abundantly clear why these personal care tasks can no longer be taken for granted.
It also leads to a greater awareness and understanding of just how time consuming and stressful these tasks can be to accomplish behind the scenes. Patience is certainly a highly sought after virtue when it comes to caregiving.
The average person may not realize that the caregiver they see in the grocery store may have been working hard since 6 A.M. to get their loved one ready to go shopping by noon. Then in the evening, it can take anywhere from one to three additional hours just to get the care recipient ready for bed, depending on the care recipient’s level of assistance needed.
That kind of grueling schedule (6-8 hours per day spent only on basic personal care for another person) does NOT include time for a caregiver’s own self care, cooking, cleaning, paying bills, childcare or working other jobs on the side, just to help make ends meet.
Nor does it allow for a full night’s rest if the person they are caring for requires support during the night.
Caregiving can be a very rewarding occupation in many ways. But there are also times when it can also be a an all consuming, energy draining 24/7 routine.
This routine, if performed repeatedly over a period of years or decades can become unbearably mind numbing and predictable. It often leaves little to no time or energy to just enjoy life or to have “fun.”
Over time, a full time caregiver can begin to feel trapped by the 24/7 cycle of care that depends solely upon them and their ability to keep it all running smoothly. Like the proverbial hamster on a spinning wheel, the days and nights begin to blur together into a seemingly never ending marathon race.
And no one can realistically keep up that pace long term without a solid network of support.
OUR VISION: A COMPASSIONATE COMMUNITY OF CAREGIVERS & ADVOCATES
For this reason, it is the intent of the author of this blog to attract and create a compassionate community of current and former caregivers and advocates. This will be achieved in combination with the book, this blog, related social media pages and eventually, videos and a podcast.
If you are interested in joining our community, see links to our related social media pages at the bottom of this page.
Here at The Beauty of Imperfection blog, we want to give you as a caregiver the encouragement, hope and inspiration you need to help you in areas of your life where you may feel stressed or broken.
We also desire to help you stay healthy (or regain your health) so you can continue to be the best caregiver you can be for your loved ones and/or the people you care for every day. The healthier you are, the better you will be able to serve others.
We’ve all heard the quote, “It is impossible to pour from an empty cup.” That quote is beautifully paraphrased by Eleanor Brownn in the poster below:
It would be an honor to have the opportunity to fill your cup as a caregiver whenever you feel you are running on fumes.
WHY A BLOG AND A BOOK ON THE SAME TOPIC?
Although the blog and the book both contain content centered around caregiving, other than the introduction to the basic concepts they both share, they are two separate and distinct publications, each with its own focus and purpose.
This blog is primarily focused on the personal backstory and life lessons learned of the author. Each post is designed to be easy to consume, with a practical lesson learned from each experience the author encountered as a full time caregiver.
In the upcoming book, The Beauty of Imperfection, the author seeks to offer caregivers an overall roadmap to healing based on personal experiences she encountered during her fourteen years as a full time caregiver, and the path to healing she discovered after she crashed and burned. Only a few select personal stories related to the healing process will be included in the book and may also be included on the blog.
Learn more about the upcoming book by clicking on the Coming Soon! The Beauty of Imperfection Book menu button at the top of this blog.
Be sure to read the introduction to the author’s personal story by clicking the About the Author menu button at the top of this blog. See the post entitled, Hurricanes and Halos for the rest of the introduction to her story.
OUR PHILOSOPHY FOR HEALING CAREGIVER’S HEARTS:
KINTSUGI & WABI-SABI
Our philosophy of healing is quite simple, yet profound. It centers around applying the ancient Japanese art of Kintsugi, (a highly specialized method for repairing and restoring broken objects) to the healing of caregiver’s broken hearts.
Both the book and the blog are designed primarily for faith based caregivers, but are also inclusive of those who are not faith based. Parts of the roadmap to healing can be applied to any caregiver’s situation, regardless of spiritual beliefs or a lack thereof.
Readers can pick and chose what they want to apply to their own lives and leave the rest.
You can read more, watch the introductory video and learn more about Kintsugi by clicking on the menu button at the top of this blog entitled, “What is Kintsugi?”
The other concept that is introduced in this blog and in the book is the Japanese philosophy known as Wabi-Sabi, which recognizes the fleeting and imperfect nature of life, and teaches that people should honor the cycle of life’s inherent value and beauty at every stage.
This stark contrast to Western society’s values of shunning anything that is not considered “perfect” or worthy of use is briefly explored both here and in the book.
You can learn more about Wabi-Sabi by clicking on the menu button at the top of this blog entitled, “What is Wabi-Sabi?”
FINAL THOUGHTS
The creator of this blog is a former experienced caregiver who understands how you feel and has made it her life mission to reach out in compassion and love and offer you and other caregivers the wisdom, mistakes and lessons she learned over a fourteen year period of 24/7 caregiving.
You belong here. You’ve found your tribe. Look around, get familiar with this site, make yourself at home and come back to visit as often as you need to. <3
We want to hear from you! Leave your comments here on this page or use the Contact Us page to send us a private message.
You can also reach us on The Beauty of Imperfection Facebook book launch page by clicking here: https://www.facebook.com/kintsugirules/?modal=admin_todo_tour
Or, you can request to join our private Facebook support group to meet and interact with other caregivers here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2279325902312536/
Join our newsletter to stay informed of the latest updates, announcements and more:
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This blog is also being launched in advance of the upcoming book , The Beauty of Imperfection that is currently in-work and ( as of this writing) is slated for completion in late 2019 with publication scheduled for 2020.
This blog is a companion site for the book and offers readers a sneak peek into the mostly hidden world of full time caregivers.
Both this blog and the book are intended to offer encouragement, inspiration and practical tips/resources to help foster optimum physical, mental and spiritual health in caregivers who are often overwhelmed, underpaid and unappreciated in terms of the value they bring to a family, a community or a nation.
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